Princess Bubblegum: Deposed!
by DoofusPrime
Summary: Times are tough for Princess Bubblegum after she is kicked out of the Candy Kingdom.  It's up to Finn and Jake to figure out what's going on and save the day.
1. A Royal Guest

**A Royal Guest**

XX

"What a wonderful day, Jake."

"You said it, Finn!"

Finn laughed merrily as he skipped through a sun-dappled forest with his canine companion, Jake. It was a wonderful day – every day was a wonderful day in the Land of Ooo – but Finn's good mood was not due to the weather.

"I think we did a good thing back there buddy," said Jake. He twisted and turned through the undergrowth with his elastic legs, being careful not to end up too far ahead of his human friend.

"For sure!" agreed Finn. "Things will be much smoother in Lake Celazon now that we taught that Giant Cuttlefish the value of sharing."

"Hop on my back! I'll give you a ride over the treetops so you can feel a breeze."

Jake lowered himself closer to the ground in order to let Finn hop on his back. Extending his legs, he sent his body sailing up to the forest canopy as he galloped through the forest. Perched on Jake's back and gazing over the tree line, Finn could see a tapestry of green stretching out in all directions. The sun's rays beat down as a soft wind tickled his face.

Before long, the forest reached its edge and tapered off into a grassy plain. Finn could see the tree house where he lived with Jake in the middle of the hilly plains. He was glad to have helped the denizens of Lake Celazon, but now that their adventure was over, Finn was looking forward to a relaxing afternoon of video games with his best friend. Perhaps they could fight Shark and Science Cat when they appeared in the plains at four o'clock on the dot.

Jake shrank his canine body to a normal size and let Finn climb off as they began walking at a leisurely pace through the plains and towards their house. Finn passed over a hill and noticed a floating ear of corn with a face drifting towards them.

"Hi Corn Princess."

"Why hello Finn and Jake!"

"What's the haps?"

Corn Princess wiggled with excitement. "Ain't you heard, sweetie? Princess Bubblegum's been crowned Queen of the Candy Kingdom! I'm all flustered with excitement, I tell you what!"

"Whoa," said Jake.

Finn pumped his fist in the air. "Pythagorean! We have to go visit her and tell her congratulations, right Jake?"

"Sure do."

"Maybe after we play some video games though." Finn waved at Corn Princess as they continued towards their house. "Thanks for the update, Corn Princess. Have a nice afternoon."

"I will. You boys keep yourselves outta trouble now!"

Finn arrived at the door of their tree house to find it unlocked. He opened the door with the shrug; they must have forgotten to lock it before they left on their adventure. Not that it mattered, seeing as a lock could not keep out too many creatures in the Land of Ooo if they really wanted to get in.

"Hope you're ready to get your butt kicked in _Adventure Master_," Finn said to his friend as they walked up the stairs to their living room.

"I don't think so dude. Your moves are wea – wait, what's that sound?"

Finn and Jake hesitated on the stairs as they heard the faint sound of someone crying. They tiptoed the rest of the way up to the living room and peeked inside. A weeping pink-hued figure sat on their couch, her crown perched lopsidedly on her head. She looked up at the sound of Finn and Jake's arrival and sniffed.

"Oh, hello Finn and Jake."

"Princess Bubblegum?"

Finn rushed over to Princess Bubblegum's side and patted her on the back as he sat down on the couch beside her. "There, there," he said. "It's alright. What's wrong?"

"I've been deposed!" wailed the Princess.

"Deposed? How? Corn Princess sad that you just became Queen of the Candy Kingdom."

"Oh, it was horrible," said Princess Bubblegum. "Everyone was there in the Candy Foyer of the palace, watching me get crowned Queen by the Gumball Guardians, when it happened!"

"When what happened, Princess?" asked Jake. Finn nodded in agreement. The two of them found Princess Bubblegum's story entirely too confusing.

"A coup!"

"A coup?" echoed Finn. "What's that?"

"Oh, it's too much to explain. I don't want to talk about this anymore, Finn. There is nothing to be done now anyway. Let's just forget about it."

Finn frowned. "Are you sure, Princess? Or should I say Queen?"

"No, I suppose not. I can't be Queen now. I'm not even a Princess anymore, really. By the way, now that I can't live in the palace, I was wondering if I could stay with you guys for a while."

Jake felt a little hesitant. As much as he liked Princess Bubblegum, he wondered if her presence in the tree house would interrupt his quality time with Finn. However, Jake could not ignore the way Finn was shaking with barely restrained excitement. Finn's crush on Princess Bubblegum was obvious to everyone besides himself. And perhaps Princess Bubblegum.

"That sounds awesome!" shouted Finn. "I mean, uh, yeah, that's alright. As long as Jake's fine with it. What do you say buddy?"

"I guess so. Why not?"

"Thank you boys so much. Once again, you've saved the day!"

Finn patted the remaining empty space on the couch, motioning for Jake to come play _Adventure Master_ with him. Jake was happy to oblige.

"You want to play whoever wins this round?" Finn asked the Bubblegum Princess.

"No, that's alright." Princess Bubblegum leaned back on the couch and spread her arms out as she stared at the ceiling. "I'm just going to sit here and mope."

XX

**A Week Later**

Finn whistled a meandering, auto tuned song as he prepared lunch, chopping food and shaking a skillet on the stove. Meals had been a little unusual lately, seeing as he was now cooking for three instead of two. He glanced back at the couch, where Jake was reading a manuscript on the best places to pole vault through the Cappycrag Mountains.

"Hey Jake, why are you reading that anyway? You can just walk through the mountains with your elastic legs."

"Yeah, but knowledge is power my friend."

"Okay then..."

Jake sniffed the air eagerly. "What's cooking?"

"I'm making some snagglepuff sandwiches. The puffs are still heating up, but it'll be ready in just a minute." Finn turned to the guest bedroom's door. "Hey Princess Bubblegum! You up yet?"

"Uunnngh," came a noise from behind the door.

Jake sidled up to Finn beside the kitchen counter. "Dude," he whispered. "I wonder if she sleeps this late normally."

The two of them stared at the guest room door until, after a few moments, it creaked open. Princess Bubblegum stood in the doorway and stared back at them. Her hair was about as mussed as the hair of a bubblegum-human hybrid person could be mussed. Princess Bubblegum stared at her new roommates and groaned, holding a hand to her back.

"Don't you guys get tired of living in a tree?"

"What do you mean?" asked Finn.

"These living arrangements aren't exactly comfortable. I believe your guest bed is pretty much just a blanket thrown on top of a wooden knob."

"Sorry, Princess. Hey, are you wearing my sweater?"

Princess Bubblegum looked down at the sweater. "Why, yes. Yes I am. I had to stretch it out to twice its size so it would fit down to my knees. I hope you don't mind! Now that I'm not royalty anymore, there is no point in dressing up, is there?"

Finn found the question depressing and decided to avoid it. "Do you want a snagglepuff sandwich?"

"Why yes Finn, I would like that!" Princess Bubblegum seemed to perk up momentarily as she sidled over to the kitchen counter. "Cut it lengthwise please!" She pointed to the sandwich as Finn worked. "No crust. Remove the crust. That's the way my courtier does it!"

"Yes Princess."

Princess Bubblegum ate the sandwich in several bites and let loose a petite burp. "I'm going to go use your powder room now," she announced.

"Um, alright."

Finn sat down on the couch to eat his sandwich with Jake. The dog glanced behind them before leaning over to Finn and speaking in a low voice. "Hey Finn, how long as she staying here for?"

"I dunno, Jake. We have to be nice to her though, she's a Princess!"

"Yeah, that and you totally have a crush on her."

Finn blushed. "I don't think so!"

A voice shouted out from the bathroom across the tree house. "Why do you two always leave the toilet seat up!"

"It's a toadstool toilet, Princess," shouted Finn. "It doesn't have a seat."

"Whatever."

Jake finished his sandwich and stretched an elongated arm across the room in order to throw the paper plate out of the open window, where it would be eaten by paper flies. "Finn," he said, leaning over conspiratorially again, "Don't you think she's getting a little annoying?"

"I dunno what you're talking about."

"She sure complains a lot, don't you think? Like maybe she's used to being royalty?"

Finn shrugged.

"Maybe we should be asking her why she doesn't have anyplace to go in the Candy Kingdom."

"She gets all upset whenever we bring that stuff up, dude."

"Well, I'm gonna ask her."

Jake sidled back to his own place on the couch and whistled tunelessly as Princess Bubblegum returned. She sat down in the center of the couch between Finn and Jake, pushing them aside as she scratched herself idly. "What's up, boys?"

"Not much," Finn said nervously.

"So, Princess," said Jake, "why exactly did you get ousted from the Candy Kingdom? More horrific tampering with the laws of science and nature? Experiment gone awry?"

"No, silly. The people just didn't want me to be their ruler anymore, I suppose. The citizens made their choice. _Some_ of them, that is..."

Jake noticed Princess Bubblegum narrowing her eyes and gritting her teeth at some passing thought. He pressed her for more information. "Which ones exactly?"

"The vegetable citizens."

Jake and Finn exchanged glances. "Vegetable citizens?" asked Finn. "I didn't know there were vegetable citizens in the Candy Kingdom."

"Oh, there are," nodded Princess Bubblegum.

"And they voted you out?"

"Well, some of them. A group called the Pea Party."

"Why?"

"I told you boys, I don't want to talk about it. It depresses me." Princess Bubblegum folded her delightfully rosy bubblegum arms together and uttered an indignant _hmph_!

"But Princess," said Jake, "you can't stay here forever. As much as we'd totally love it if you did, because it's not like you're imposing or anything at all, but still, maybe there's some way you could take back your place as Princess of the Candy Kingdom if you just told them you didn't want to be Queen!"

"I had to be made Queen at the appointed time, just as I was made Princess," said Princess Bubblegum. "It's not my choice. It's just the way things work!"

"There must be _something_ you can do," said Finn.

"I don't think so, Finn, I'm sorry."

Finn slapped an emphatic fist into his palm. "Well, I bet there's something me and Jake can do! We'll show these vegetables who's boss!"

"I don't want fighting in the Candy Kingdom on my account, Finn."

"We can check out what's going on at least. Come on Princess, it'll be a fun adventure!"

Princess Bubblegum pondered Finn's offer for a moment as she looked around the tree house. She did miss being Princess. Finn and Jake had no science equipment, and the living conditions in their house were simply awful. And she did feel terribly lost without her sweet citizens around her.

"Well," she finally said, "I suppose it can't hurt."

"Slamacow!" exclaimed Finn. "It's vegetable fighting -" he noticed Princess Bubblegum throwing him a stern look. "Uh, I mean, it's adventure time!"

XX

* * *

_I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter. I do have a general idea of where I'm going, and there will be at least a few more chapters to go. Leave me a review and tell me what you think, and put the story on alert if you want to keep track of it. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Veggie Investigations

**Veggie Investigations**

XX

Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum stumbled out of the tree house as they began their journey to the Candy Kingdom. Finn brought along a backpack filled with snagglepuffs to eat as snacks. He had his trusty sword in hand, but a pair of nunchucks were stuffed into his backpack as well. You never knew when a pair of nunchucks might come in handy.

Making their way across the hilly plains around their tree house, the group ran into Corn Princess again. She floated aimlessly over the grass and turned with a beaming smile at the sound of their approach.

"Why hello boys! And Princess Bubblegum too, what a pleasant surprise!" Corn Princess tipped the top of her husk downwards, which was probably the corn equivalent of a bow. "Or should I say, _Queen_ Bubblegum."

"No, I'm afraid not," sighed Princess Bubblegum. "I've been deposed!"

"What? Oh _no_!"

"A radical group of vegetable citizens removed me from the throne."

"That's horrible!"

Corn Princess began to shake violently. Finn and Jake began to back away when Corn Princess's kernels began to explode from her body in the form of popcorn. Finn held up his arms as he was pelted by the popcorn.

"Aaaah! The kernels, they burn!"

"I'm so sorry boys. When I get in a tizzy, I turn into Popcorn Princess," popped Popcorn Princess.

"Don't worry," sad Jake. "No need to be upset. Me and Finn here are gonna go to the Candy Kingdom and show these vegetable usurpers what's what! Right Finn?"

"You got it, Jake!"

Having recovered from his popcorn burns, Finn picked up a piece and tasted it gingerly. He eagerly stuffed the rest of the giant popcorn puff into his mouth. "Hey Popcorn Princess, you taste awesome!"

"That's mighty kind of you to say, Finn."

Finn stuffed several more pieces of popcorn into his backpack as they took their leave of Popcorn Princess. As they left, it looked like she was turning back into Corn Princess since yellow kernels were reappearing all over her body. Whatever the Princess was called, her popcorn droppings would be a tasty snack to eat along with the snagglepuffs.

"We're off to the Candy Kingdom, Princess. See you!"

"Good luck, boys."

XX

With Jake's ability to expand in size and take massive strides across the landscape, journeying to the Candy Kingdom took about half an hour. Finn was a little annoyed that he hadn't had time to enjoy his snacks. They had tried walking at a normal pace for a while in order to enjoy their surroundings and get some exercise, but Princess Bubblegum had complained about her feet hurting after ten minutes of walking. Now, Finn and Princess Bubblegum were perched on Jake's back. Finn saw the familiar towers of the Bubblegum Palace rising up ahead of them.

"We're here," announced Princess Bubblegum as Jake shrank back down to a normal size and let his two passengers off his back.

As they entered the gates of the Candy Kingdom, Princess Bubblegum stopped. "Finn, Jake, I don't think we should go into the palace quite yet," she said. "Perhaps it would be best to talk to some citizens of the Candy Kingdom first, so you hear what happened for yourself!"

Princess Bubblegum led her two fellow adventurers through various streets and houses that surrounded the Bubblegum Palace. Most of the citizens of the Candy Kingdom lived within the Kingdom's walls, or close by in the cotton candy forest that surrounded the Kingdom. Finn and Jake followed Princess Bubblegum along an unpaved dirt alley that snaked between the houses. Or perhaps it was a chocolate alley. Finn couldn't tell

Before long, they happened upon a small square surrounded by several houses. In the center of the square, a number of people were dancing merrily to the tune of a Candy Kingdom folk song. Finn recognized Chocoberry and Mr. Cupcake amongst the revelers.

"Why look, eet iz Finn and Jake, along with ze Bubblegum Princess!" said Chocoberry.

"Join in the fun, why don't you," said Mr. Cupcake.

Finn looked like he was about to leap into their midst and start dancing himself when Princess Bubblegum stopped him. "One minute," she said. "Chocoberry, Mr. Cupcake, could you guys explain to Finn and Jake why I was deposed?"

"Why, of course." Chocoberry pursed her strawberry lips together. "Eet is like zis – certain citizens of ze Candy Kingdom were not pleased with Princess Bubblegum's rule, and zey created a party to remove her from power. Le Pea Party! Eet is named like so because eet is mostly vegetable citizens who wanted Princess Bubblegum out of power. Zey used special vegetable magics to send ze Gumball Guardians away, and now zey are in charge of zee Candy Kingdom!"

"But why would anyone have a problem with Princess Bubblegum?" asked Finn. "She's totally mathematical!"

"Seriously, she's like a scientist," added Jake. "They use math."

"You two are too kind," laughed Princess Bubblegum. She leaned over to give Finn a peck on the cheek, and his face blushed rosy red as a result.

"It is true, Princess Bubblegum is a good ruler of the Candy Kingdom," said Mr. Cupcake, "but many people were swayed by a popular Candy Kingdom newspaper." Mr. Cupcake held out a copy of a newspaper to Jake and Finn. Finn grabbed it and looked over the front page.

"_Squash News_? The headline says 'Princess Bubblegum: Pushing a Sugarist Agenda?' Interesting." Finn passed the newspaper to Jake, who shook his head as he read it.

"Many citizens of the Candy Kingdom read that paper," said Mr. Cupcake. "Vegetable citizens, mostly, but some candy citizens as well!"

"It's not my fault that sugar is such an important part of running a Candy Kingdom," said Princess Bubblegum indignantly.

"Don't worry Princess," said Finn. He and Jake turned to each other and punched their fists together. "We're gonna take this Pea Party out of power and get your throne back!"

Before Princess Bubblegum could respond, Finn and Jake ran off through the houses and towards the Candy Palace. Princess Bubblegum was forced to run as fast as she could to keep up, trailing behind them as they reached the palace doors. Finn leaped at the doors and knocked them down with a single kick.

"It's vegetable fighting time!" he screamed.

The Candy Foyer was empty, save for three vegetables who sat around a table at the other end of the room. One of them was a radish, one was a parsnip, and one was a stalk of broccoli. The vegetables looked up at the sound of the commotion, staring at the palace intruders.

"Who are you two?"

"I'm Finn. This is my friend Jake."

Finn motioned to his friend, and then pulled the pair of nunchucks from his backpack. He also had his sword with him, but Finn thought this felt like an occasion for nunchucks. "Can we fight now?"

"Please, let's just talk!" said the vegetables. "Come in and sit beside us."

The three vegetables motioned for Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum, who had just arrived behind them, to enter the Palace. They walked across the Foyer and joined the vegetables at the table.

"Nice to meet you," said the broccoli stalk. "I'm Glenn Broccoli." He shook Finn's hand with his own cold broccoli hand.

"And I'm Ayn Radish," said the radish.

The parsnip gave a curtsy to the new arrivals. "Well I'm Sarah Parsnip, by golly!"

Finn and Jake sat down after shaking the vegetable's hands, while Princess Bubblegum let out an indignant _hmph_! and folded her arms, standing away from the table.

"So why did you guys kick Princess Bubblegum out of the palace?" said Finn. "She seems like a pretty cool ruler to me, bros!"

Ayn Radish shook her head. "She preaches a philosophy of Sugarism." Princess Bubblegum rolled her eyes at Ayn's comment. "Under Princess Bubblegum, the Candy Kingdom government is just too restrictive. It's up to all of us to make our own way in life using a doctrine of enlightened self-interest!"

Finn scratched his head. "I dunno what that means, but whatever."

"Princess Bubblegum just doesn't care about the Candy Kingdom," said Glenn Broccoli. "It just breaks my heart to see what she's doing to it!" Glenn Broccoli began to cry, wiping tears from his eyes with a broccoli hand-stalk. "Our beautiful Kingdom is torn apart by the way she's trying to control everyone with her radical Sugarist policies!"

"Dude," said Finn, staring at Glenn Broccoli with distaste, "Are you crying? Seriously, I'm twelve and even I don't cry that easily. Don't you think you're being a little too theatrical? Besides, I don't think Princess Bubblegum wants to control anybody, she just cares about her candy citi-"

"I can see the Ice King's palace from my house!" interrupted Sarah Parsnip.

The rest of the group stared at her, but she did not continue.

"Um... and?" asked Finn.

Sarah Parsnip did not seem to have planned her comment very well. "And? Wait... oh yeah, if Princess Bubblegum becomes Queen, it'd be worse than being ruled by the Ice King! All we want is to live our own lives, I tell you what. We don't need big government. And by big government, I mean those Gumball Guardians we sent away. Those things were huge!"

"I think we've given enough of an explanation to these people," said Glenn Broccoli. "Sorry, but it's time for you all to leave!"

Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum felt themselves sail through the air before they knew what hit them. A strange force jerked them out of the palace doors and all the way outside the gates of the Candy Kingdom, where they landed in a heap.

"What was that?" said Jake.

Princess Bubblegum got up and dusted off her royal dress. "Vegetable magic."

Finn narrowed his eyes and growled at the Kingdom's gates. "Nobody's beating me and Jake with some stupid food magic! Let's go back in and punch some vegetable lights out!"

"No, Finn," said the Princess. "I'm tired, and I don't want to fight anybody. Can't we just go back to the tree house?"

Before Finn could argue with Princess Bubblegum, her eyes expanded to almost twice their normal size, glistening with emotion as she implored him to reconsider. Finn sighed and nodded, turning away from the Kingdom's gates. The trio began to trudge down the path away from the Candy Kingdom, making their way back home.

Finn was surprised that Princess Bubblegum and Jake would give up so easily. He was fine with going home and taking a little break, but Finn knew one thing for sure. He wasn't going to get beaten by vegetables that easily!


	3. A Merry Marauder Meeting

**A Merry Marauder Meeting**

XX

Finn stood in the tree house's living room and swung his nunchucks wildly back and forth. He wanted to get a little practice early in the morning so he could limber up for the day ahead. Finn wanted to practice swinging his sword around as well, but Princess Bubblegum did not seem to like the idea of Finn using a sword to chop up Candy Kingdom citizens.

Finn's mind was made up. As soon as Jake and Princess Bubblegum were awake, the three of them would be setting out on another adventure. This time, they would need to get some help from a few of their friends in order to take back the Candy Kingdom. As he waited for his house mates to wake up, Finn took a particularly hard swing with the nunchucks. They whipped back and smacked him in the face.

"Owww!"

Finn rubbed his nose, thinking he definitely needed to get some more practice, when suddenly a scream came from the tree house's guest bedroom.

"Aaagh! Finn!"

Finn rushed into the bedroom. "I'll save you Princess! What's going on?"

Princess Bubblegum was huddled in the corner of the room. She pointed to her bed.

"What are those?"

Finn brandished his nunchucks menacingly, but dropped them down again when he saw what had scared her. Those stupid glowing worms had crawled all over her bed during the night, despite Finn and Jake's explicit 'no worms on the bed' tree house rule.

"Hey, you guys! Off the bed!"

The worms stood up and glowed indignantly at Finn's demand.

"Come on Princess, it's time to wake up anyways."

Finn returned to the living room, where Jake had also gotten up from the sound of the commotion. "What's going on?" the dog asked.

"Jake, guess what time it is!"

"Time for leftover fried snagglepuffs?"

"No, it's adventure time."

Jake frowned. "I kind of wanted to hang out with Lady Raincorn today."

"Too bad! Adventure time!"

Jake sighed and followed his best friend out of the tree house as Princess Bubblegum trailed behind them, trying to hold up her royal dress so that it did not drag on the ground too much. She hurried to catch up with her two friends as they began their journey.

"Guys, where are we going?" she asked.

Finn pointed ahead into the distance.

"The land of the roughhousing Marauders!"

XX

Finn and Jake laughed as they darted in and out of bushes, hiding behind trees and leaping out to surprise one another. Sometimes they became distracted by passing butterflies, as well as the butterfly's close cousins, the flybutters. Princess Bubblegum watched as the boy and his dog frolicked through the forest, chasing after insects and having a good time.

Princess Bubblegum herself was not having a good time. The forest did not do much to keep the sun from beating down on her, and she kept getting snagged by low-hanging tree branches as she passed them by. Finn and Jake was clearly more cut out for adventuring than she was. Princess Bubblegum would be happier in a laboratory, figuring out how to turn puffrocks into gold. She liked to collect the rocks from the Cotton Candy forest around her kingdom, and she thought she was close to discovering the correct changing formula.

"Hey Princess, do the philosophy dance with us!" laughed Finn.

Finn kept one hand to his chin and scrunched his face together in order to look deep in thought, while the other arm wiggled about wildly as he danced. Jake was also doing the philosophy dance. They spun in circles and leaped back and forth as they danced onwards into the forest.

"Finn, Jake, can we slow down?"

Finn laughed. "Princess, slowing down is lame. Speeding up is where it's at!"

"I feel like I'm chewed up," complained Princess Bubblegum.

She was about to use her royal authority to demand a fifteen minute rest stop when she realized she no longer had any royal authority. Princess Bubblegum frowned, annoyed by the revelation. Still, she knew Finn would let her take a break if she broke out her patented pout, combined with big watery eyes. Before Princess Bubblegum was forced to go that far, however, the trio came upon a stream coursing through the forest.

"Time to get your feet wet!" said Finn.

"Haha, not me!" said Jake. He extended his legs, intending to step across the stream without having to put a foot in the water. He was halfway across the stream when he smacked into something and fell back into the water. Jake sat up in the stream, rubbing his forehead.

"What in the world? What'd I run into?"

Finn walked into the stream and smacked into something himself. He looked up at a strange ripple in the air; it looked like there was some kind of invisible wall in the middle of the stream.

"This tanks, dude I don't remember an invisible force field being here before!"

"That's because it's new," spoke a mysterious voice.

"Huh? Who's that?"

"Right here, dummies."

Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum looked to their right, where they noticed a wooden bridge, in front of which stood a tiny yellow figure.

"Oh, we didn't see you there buddy."

Finn peered at the small man standing before them. "Hey, you kinda look like the Keyper! He guards the gate at Mount Cragdor."

"Indeed," the man nodded. "He is my cousin. Our entire family guards things. Gates, bridges, dungeons. My half-brother even guards the Cloud Volcano on Rectangle Island."

"Why is guarding such a hard job that it would be a family business?" asked Jake.

The bridge keeper looked annoyed. "Have you ever tried to stand in one place for hours? It's harder than it looks!"

"Why is this invisible barrier up?" asked Jake. "It was never here before when we passed through this forest."

"I put it up," said the bridge keeper. "I need something to do with my time, after all. So, I suppose the three of you want to cross into the land of the Roughhousing Marauders."

Finn nodded. "That's right, sir."

"Well then, you'll have to answer me these questions three!"

"And what if I don't?" said Finn, brandishing his nunchucks.

"I'd be very disappointed."

"Oh." Finn stuffed the nunchucks back into his backpack. "Well, bring it on then."

The bridge keeper nodded and asked his first question. "What is your name?"

"My name is Finn!"

"What is your quest?"

"To ask the Roughhousing Marauders to help us restore Princess Bubblegum to her throne."

"What is your favorite color?"

Finn thought for a moment. It was a tough question. There were many colors in the Land of Ooo.

"I guess Grellow."

The bridge keeper nodded. "Mine too! Alright, you may pass."

The bridge keeper stood aside as Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum crossed over the bridge. Finn laughed as he raced through the forest ahead of his two friends. That was easier than he had expected.

The trio made their way through the forest for a few more minutes until Princess Bubblegum complained about her feet hurting,. She and Finn climbed onto Jake's back as he expanded in size so they could cover the remaining distance more quickly. Before long, the forest cleared off into a mountainous region. Finn saw a collection of thatched roofs in the distance, many of which were decorated to look like animal heads. He also heard the telltale sound of roughhousing. They had arrived at the Marauders' village.

"Here we are, guys!"

XX

Finn put his hands to his knees, leaning over as he panted. He and the chieftain of the Marauders were in the center of a makeshift ring, around which were gathered the rest of the Marauders. They had been roughhousing for hours, and night had fallen. The fight was illuminated by the light of various torches set up around the village square.

"Ready to give up, Finn?" asked the Marauder chieftain.

"No way, Marty!" said Finn. "I'm just getting started!"

"Hey guys, maybe we should take a break," said Jake from his position on the edge of the ring. "We've been roughhousing all day, and we still haven't talked about why we're here! Not to mention Princess Bubblegum is looking a little bored."

Jake gestured to Princess Bubblegum, who was sitting on a wooden bench next to one of the Marauder houses, away from the ring. She idly tapped her fingers on a bubblegum knee.

"I agree with the dog!" shouted a voice from the nearby mountain range. Everyone in the Marauder village looked up at the source of the booming voice.

"Hey there, crazy crying mountain man!" shouted Finn.

"Hello there, Finn!"

Marty the Marauder chieftain grumbled. "I don't know how anyone can possibly want to stop roughhousing, ever, but if you insist. Let's all gather round the fire which someone just conveniently put together in the village square, and there we can speak of our adventures."

Everyone gathered around the bonfire and watched the multicolored flames crackle merrily in the night. Marty passed around tankards of ink for everyone to drink as the Marauders began to chat amongst each other and sing folk songs about roughhousing.

"By the way, Finn, did I show you the scar I got the other day?" Marty pulled up his leather pant leg, revealing a scar across his shin. "That was a rough day of roughhousing, let me tell you!"

"Oh yeah?" said Finn. "Check this one out!"

Finn revealed a scar along his arm. "I got it from fighting Shark and Science Cat where they appear near our tree house. Shark got in a good bite on me. You know, it's too bad I didn't get to fight them today."

Princess Bubblegum tried to drink a mouthful of her tankard of ink and abruptly spat it out.

"Eww, gross!"

She wiped a hand across her mouth, smearing black ink over her face. As she overheard the conversation between Finn and Marty the Marauder chieftain, she decided to contribute her own story.

"Check this out, guys!" She pointed to a scar on her hand. "I got it from an exploding beaker when I was trying to make some Strawberry Serum!"

Marty and Finn stared at Princess Bubblegum and broke out into laughter.

"I like you," said Marty. "For someone who doesn't roughhouse, that is. So Finn and Jake tell me that you were going to be crowned Queen of the Candy Kingdom?"

"Yes, that's right," said Princess Bubblegum. "Before I was deposed by those nasty vegetables in the Pea Party."

"How do you get to be crowned Queen, anyway?"

"It's a complex process. The Gumball Guardians watch the stars and planets over the Candy Kingdom, and when they are aligned in a particular way, a new Queen is crowned from among the Princesses who live in the Kingdom. The Candy Kingdom has not been ruled by a queen in a long time, but recently the Bubble Gum Belt of the Belisarius system aligned with Planet Pinkerton. Which means I get to be Queen!"

Marty the Marauder chieftain scratched his long yellow beard in confusion. "That's a heck of a system, Princess. Here in the Marauder village, we just roughhouse until everybody gives up but one guy, and then he gets to be the chieftain."

"To each his own, Marty," said Princess Bubblegum. "So, can you help me restore my place as Queen of the Candy Kingdom?"

Marty shook his head. "Sorry Princess, but I don't think so. We're simple blue folk here in the Land of the Marauders. All we like to do is roughhouse. And sometimes maraud things. And drink tankards of squid ink!"

Marty laughed and raised a tankard to his mouth, spilling black ink all over his beard. He belched, sending ink bubbles floating up into the night sky. "We don't like to get involved in the affairs of other realms in the Land of Ooo. We stick to ourselves, mostly. We have an isolationist policy in terms of inter-realm relations."

"Ugh, my head hurts," complained Finn as he tried to decipher the meaning of Marty's statement.

"Well, what a waste of time," said Jake. "Coming out all this way for nothing."

Finn wrapped an arm around his buddy's shoulders. "Don't say that, Jake! We had another exciting adventure, and we got to roughhouse a little. We can spend the night here in the Marauder village, and then we can look for someone else to help us."

"You got somebody in mind?" asked Jake.

Finn narrowed his eyes. "Sarah Parsnip, Glenn Broccoli, and Ayn Radish had strong vegetable magic. Maybe we couldn't fight them with regular Marauders, anyway." Finn shrank back a little when he noticed Marty looking at him angrily. "Uh, no offense. You guys are awesome against less magical stuff!"

"Thanks."

"Still," said Finn as the rest of the camp quieted down, listening intently to the young boy, "maybe we need someone with even more powerful magic. Someone who can beat those vegetables at their own game."

"Who Finn, who?" Princess Bubblegum cried out as she wrung her hands together.

Finn stood up as an ominous darkness descended over the camp. A chilly wind passed over and put out the bonfire as the Marauders fell deathly silent. Everyone glued their eyes to the white-hatted boy as he spoke.

"Marceline, the Vampire Queen!"

XX

* * *

_The Marauders are the Viking-like people from the episode "Memories of Boom Boom Mountain". I don't remember if the chieftain of the Marauders had a name, and I don't have access to the episode itself, so I named him Marty. If he does have a name, let me know and I will change it. Hopefully he doesn't, because I kind of like the name Marty. :)_


	4. Marceline's Lair

**Marceline's Lair**

XX

Finn looked out over the dark water and grumbled as he rubbed his frozen elbow with his hand. They had escaped into the sea on the back of a Snow Turtle, but the Ice King had been angrier than usual when he caught Finn and Jake trespassing in his icy kingdom. The adventurers had no choice but to cross the Ice King's lands. They had to retrace their steps to find the cave which Marceline had claimed as hers, which was past the Ice King's castle and across a small sea.

Perhaps the Ice King was angry about Princess Bubblegum tagging along with them, Finn thought. Not only that, but it probably didn't help when Princess Bubblegum stuck her tongue out at the Ice King while he was shouting at them from his castle window.

The previous night, Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum had stayed the night in the Marauder's village. The next day, after sleeping late and having a good round of roughhousing, Finn and his two friends had left the village earlier in the afternoon in order to find Marceline and ask her to help restore Princess Bubblegum to her throne. Finn missed the warm fires, friendship, and roughhousing of the Marauders, but he and Jake had a job to do. Princess Bubblegum needed help, and helping people out was what Finn was all about. Even if that meant running from the Ice King's frost bolts.

Finn turned to his friend Jake. "Do you ever think the Ice King just wants us to stop by and hang out with him when we're passing through his Ice Kingdom, dude? And that's why he gets so angry?"

"Nah, man. I think he's just a sociopath."

Finn gave his friend a shrug that turned into a shiver. His elbow was less frozen, but the rest of his body was getting colder instead. He noticed that Princess Bubblegum was shivering as well; only Jake, with his convenient coat of fur, seemed to be okay with their frozen surroundings. Traveling around in the Ice Kingdom was cold enough, but since it was evening already, it was even colder outside.

"Aw, come here guys! Gather up under my ear."

Jake extended his ear out, and both Finn and Princess Bubblegum were enveloped within it. Finn blushed at how close he was to Princess Bubblegum, but fortunately she did not seem to notice.

Princess Bubblegum hummed a happy tune as they sat on the back of the Snow Turtle that was taking them across the sea. She felt warm and comfortable nestled in Jake's ear. "Isn't it wonderful, adventuring with friends?" she asked. "I have to say, boys, you make this almost as fun as science!"

Finn laughed. "Princess, nothing is as fun as science! Except maybe math."

"You're not fooling anyone dude," said Jake. "The Princess told me all about how bad you are at math."

"Aww."

The Snow Turtle arched its white head around its back in order to catch a glimpse of its passengers. "Floobity floob floomy floom!" the turtle exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's totally right," said Finn. The turtle smiled and turned its head back around as it swam through the freezing sea waves.

"Dude," whispered Finn into Jake's ear, which was not hard to do seeing as the ear was wrapped around him, "I can't understand a word that guy says."

"Me neither, but at least he's taking us to the cave."

The night was silent except for the soothing sound of the sea as it lapped against the sides of the Snow Turtle. Up ahead, the cold night air gradually formed into the shape of a rocky cliff. A dark, menacing cave mouth was set into the side of the cliff, letting in the sea's waves. Finn thought the cave looked different, however. As they got closer, he realized why it looked so unusual. Above the entrance of the cave, a giant figure of a vampire bat was carved into the rock. It looked like the form Marceline took when she got angry.

"Looks like she added some decorations," said Jake. He shivered, but it was not from the cold.

As the Snow Turtle swam into the cave's entrance, the trio looked at their surroundings from the turtle's back. Several flaming torches were placed around the walls of the cave, which gave the chamber an eerie glow. Ahead of them, the sea waves lapped against what looked like a temple, hewn into the cave's wall. Black stone columns reared up to either side of an open door.

"Thanks for the ride, Snow Turtle!" said Finn as they got off the turtle's back and onto a small platform in front of the temple's door. The turtle waved at them with a snowy fin as it swam back out of the cave's entrance. Finn turned to the door. A stairway trailed down deeper into the temple's interior.

"Let's go guys," said Finn as he drew his sword from his backpack. This looked more like a sword situation than a nunchuck situation.

Finn and Jake led the way as Princess Bubblegum trailed nervously behind them. The stairway curved down in a spiraling pattern. The rock-carved walls surrounding the staircase were dotted with small torches, plus the occasional snarling vampire statue set into an alcove here and there.

"You said this Marceline is a vampire queen?" asked Princess Bubblegum. "I really don't like her sense of decoration!"

Jake shrugged. "Different strokes for different folks, Princess!"

The adventurers followed the staircase deeper into the earth until the steps ended in front of a polished stone floor. In front of them was a large chamber, lined with more carved stone columns. The rock in the chamber was blue-black in color, and torches set into wall sconces gave the room a bizarre, ethereal glow. The stone columns had various strange figures carved into them as they led up to the arched ceiling. The carvings made the columns look like spires of intertwined, writhing creatures that reached up from the floor in unison, trying to escape from the room.

Finn looked at the far end of the room. A few steps led up to a throne carved out of the rock. It looked fit for a queen, but the throne was empty. Finn held his sword at the ready and strode forward into the room.

"Come on Jake, let's find Marceline."

As he walked into the middle of the room, Finn heard an ominous clicking sound beneath him. He looked down; his foot was resting on a square tile that had been depressed into the floor. Finn and Jake looked around them nervously as a strange chattering sound began to echo through the chamber, as if coming from far away.

"What's going on, dude?"

"I dunno man, but I'm freaking out here."

Finn looked around at the walls of the chamber. The midnight-colored rock walls, dimly lit by the torches, had been difficult to make out when they first entered the throne room, but now Finn could see something strange about the walls. They were covered in dozens of holes. The chattering sound grew louder. It was definitely coming from beyond the walls.

Finn and Jake drew closer together as the chattering turned into a roar. As Finn watched the holes in the throne room's walls, a multitude of small black shapes began to pour out. The shapes had glowing red eyes and wings. Finn swung his sword at the first one to rush at him. It was sliced cleanly in half, but as Finn watched, the upper half of the creature picked up its lower half and reattached it. The two halves melded back together, and the creature flapped its leathery wings as it launched itself back into the air towards Finn.

"Dude!" said Jake. "They're like little versions of Marceline's bat form! And they can regenerate!"

"Raagggh! Come and get it!" Finn screamed as he swung his sword at the incoming mass of vampire bats. Princess Bubblegum shrieked and flailed around wildly, trying to keep the bats off herself. At one point, she blew a bubble out of her mouth, which exploded with a loud _pop! _and blasted several of the vampire bats away.

"I didn't know you could do that, Princess!" shouted Finn over the chatter of the bats.

Princess Bubblegum could not respond, as she was beginning to disappear under a writhing mass of bats. Finn kept swinging his sword, but there were too many of them, and he had no idea how to defeat regenerating bats. Even Jake seemed to be caught off guard. His stretching skills did not help against the vampire bat horde. Finn shouted for his friends, but he found himself dragged to the ground by tiny claws.

XX

Chocoberry, Mr. Cupcake, and the rest of the Candy Kingdom's citizens gathered around the town square below the Candy Kingdom palace. Above them, on a balcony that was connected to the royal chamber Princess Bubblegum used to occupy, three vegetables looked down at their audience. Ayn Radish, Glenn Broccoli, and Sara Parsnip were addressing the crowd about the new way in which the Candy Kingdom would be run.

"Furthermore," stated Ayn Radish, "there will be no more street cleaning by Princess Bubblegum's taffy toilers! We can all exercise personal responsibility when it comes to keeping out Kingdom clean; we don't need a nanny state to do it!"

There was a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Mr. Cupcake turned to his friend Chocoberry. "I don't know about that," he said. "I kind of liked those taffy cleaners. Why, I always struck up a conversation with Theodore Taffy whenever he cleaned the street in front of my house."

Another voice piped up . "Seems like they want the Candy Kingdom citizens to fend for themselves," said a vegetable that stood beside them in the crowd.

"Who are you?" asked Mr. Cupcake.

"Nice to meet you," the vegetable said, shaking Mr. Cupcake's brawny hand. "I'm Professor Pea!" He was, in fact, a giant pea with a handlebar mustache and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.

"Did they name the Pea Party after you?" asked Mr. Cupcake.

"No, my friend. Just a coincidence."

"I thought zat you vegetables wanted ze Princess Bubblegum gone?" asked Chocoberry.

"Oh no, not all of us. I think some of the vegetable citizens just felt disenfranchised!"

"Does zat mean 'angry'?" asked Chocoberry.

"Kind of." Professor Pea adjusted his glasses solemnly. "I live out in the Broccoli Forest, beyond the gates of the Candy Kingdom here. We don't get to see Princess Bubblegum a lot. It's gotten a bit scary out there now that the Gumball Guardians are gone. They used to provide protection to the Candy Kingdom and the forests around it with their powerful candy magic, but now that they're gone, more scary creatures have been running around at night in our vegetable village.

"Nowadays, everyone just stays in their houses and worries about protecting their property. Nobody's friends anymore! Not to mention, many of the vegetables living in the Broccoli Forest don't take kindly to intellectuals and authority figures, such as myself! I came here into the town because I thought it would be safer inside the gates, next to the palace."

"Zat sounds horrible!" exclaimed Chocoberry.

"Indeed it is, madame!"

The trio looked up as the three vegetables on the balcony of the Candy Kingdom's palace tower finished their proclamations. "That concludes today's business!" said Glenn Broccoli. "Everyone can clear out now."

The crowd began to wander away from the town square. Mr. Cupcake picked up a trampled copy of _Squash News_ that one of the Candy Kingdom's citizens had discarded on the ground. The headline read 'Princess Bubblegum: Was She Even Born in the Candy Kingdom?'

Mr. Cupcake shook his head sadly. "I wish Finn and Jake would come back with Princess Bubblegum. They'd figure out how to make things right."

Professor Pea wiggled his handlebar mustache as he spoke. "I don't know who Finn and Jake are," he said, "but I completely agree!"

XX

Finn clanged his sword against the crystal bars of the dungeon prison in which he and his friends were trapped. The vampire bats had overpowered them, and Finn had been surprised to discover they had human forms just like Marceline, although they were very small. The bats had morphed back into their human forms and dragged Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum down into a dungeon beneath the throne room, locking them up in a cave-like prison cell.

"This stinks," said Finn. Being locked up was the worst kind of adventure a person could have.

"You said it, pal."

Princess Bubblegum shifted position on the stone she was sitting on. "This really hurts my bubblegum bottom," she complained. "I wish I was asleep in my royal bed!"

Finn and Jake approached the cell bars when they heard the sound of a familiar chattering. This time, however, the chattering did not seem as ominous. As Finn watched the stairway outside that led up to the throne room outside of their cell, a group of the tiny vampires walked down into the dungeon as they chattered amongst themselves.

"Marceline the Vampire Queen will see you now!" they chanted, opening the prison door.

Finn had the urge to attack them again, but decided it was better to let the little vampires take him to see Marceline. That was why he and his friends were there, after all. The little vampires led them back up the stairs and into the throne room. This time, the inky rock throne was occupied.

"Hey guys," laughed Marceline she leaned casually against her throne on one elbow. "Long time no see."

"Marceline!" shouted Finn. "Why did we get attacked by those things?"

"Oh, those are just my vampire subjects. They make sure nobody breaks in without being invited. They're kinda tiny, I know. Not like me, since I'm the Queen."

"How come we didn't see them last time we were here?" asked Finn.

"They got rid of me for a while. That's why I was wandering around looking for a new place. Sometimes they get all whiny about how I'm not a good Queen, because I always go traveling and disappear for weeks on end, but I need some _me_ time, you know? They always wise up in the end, when they realize I'm like a hundred times as big as them when I go bat-style."

Marceline smirked at her visitors. "So what's up? How come the two of you thought it was a good idea to come back here and bug me?"

"We need your help to put Princess Bubblegum back in charge of the Candy Kingdom," said Finn. "She was going to be their Queen, but she got kicked out by some vegetables that organized a political party. Just like what happened to you!"

"Whoa, vegetables? Politics?" said Marceline. "Sounds way too boring for me."

"Come on, creepy vampire lady," said Jake. "Princess Bubblegum is just like you!"

Marceline looked Princess Bubblegum over. The Princess certainly didn't _look_ just like her. She was pink all over. Just a shade away from red. Marceline licked her lips threateningly, rolling her tongue over a pointed fang.

"So what bubblegum flavor _are_ you, Princess?"

Princess Bubblegum gulped and avoided the question. "I'd really appreciate your help. All I want is to be able to help my sweet citizens, and that silly Pea Party has been brainwashing them."

Marceline considered Princess Bubblegum's plea. She and the Princess did have some things in common; Marceline could sympathize with the Princess finding the role of a queen to be such a pain. And Marceline was getting tired of ruling her tiny vampire subjects again. Perhaps it was time for her to go solo for a while. The Candy Kingdom sounded like it was in chaos, after all. And Marceline was a fan of chaos.

"Alright guys," said Marceline as she stood up from her throne. "I'll bite."


	5. Trouble in the Candy Kingdom

**Trouble in the Candy Kingdom**

XX

Mr. Cupcake hurried down the Candy Kingdom's winding streets, glancing nervously behind him as he walked. Earlier in the morning, he left his home to pay a visit to the Candy Kingdom's barber and hairstylist, Miss BonBon. Mr. Cupcake thought his mustache could use a bit of a trim. On his way to the barbershop, however, the streets seemed to be filled with angry citizens. Mr. Cupcake could not remember the last time the Candy Kingdom had been so abuzz with activity.

By the time Mr. Cupcake left the barbershop with a freshly-trimmed brown mustache, the citizens seemed to be getting angrier. Crowds of vegetables – along with some candy citizens - marched in the streets, raising an uproar. Many of the vegetables were citizens that Mr. Cupcake had never seen within the Candy Kingdom's walls before. He wondered if they had traveled from the Broccoli Forest on the outskirts of the kingdom.

"Meester Cupcake, _regardez moi_! Come in here, _s'il vous plait_!"

Mr. Cupcake noticed ChocoBerry gesturing to him from the front door of her house. The crowds in the streets seemed to be getting more rowdy – it was almost as if they were protesting something. He decided it might be a good idea to join ChocoBerry in her home and avoid the crowds, since his own house was farther away.

"Thank you for the invite, _mademoiselle_," said Mr. Cupcake in the politest of tones. ChocoBerry seemed to be flustered, since she always used more French when she was upset about something, so Mr. Cupcake wanted to act as smoothly as possible so as not to upset her.

As he entered ChocoBerry's living room, he noticed several other Candy Kingdom citizens who appeared to be taking refuge in the house. Amongst them was Professor Pea, who Mr. Cupcake had met the other day at the citizen's gathering in front of the palace.

"Nice to see you again, Professor Pea."

"Likewise."

"I wonder what's going on outside?" said Mr. Cupcake.

ChocoBerry glanced out of her living room window and wrung her red strawberry hands together with nervous energy. "I do not know, Mr. Cupcake. Eet eez a little frightening. Zey seem to be protesting somezing!"

Professor Pea joined the two of them as they looked out the window. Opened in his hands was a copy of that morning's _Squash News_. "The front page article in the paper this morning was reporting on rumors of Princess Bubblegum coming back to the Candy Kingdom. The paper has all kinds of wild stories: Princess Bubblegum returning to kick all the vegetable citizens out of the kingdom, Princess Bubblegum returning with an evil vampire, Princess Bubblegum using the Gumball Guardians to destroy the kingdom since she cannot be queen. Clearly a bunch of nonsense. They're spreading fear amongst the citizens. It's shameful!"

As Mr. Cupcake watched from the living room, a more organized band of citizens marched through the street outside. Some of them were holding up signs, on which slogans were written like 'Cauliflower Power' and 'Bubblegum is Scum'.

"It almost seems these Pea Party protesters are protesting for no reason," remarked Mr. Cupcake. "As if they don't even know what they're angry at!"

Chocoberry shook her chocolate-coated head sadly. "Eet eez _trés mauvais_ outside, no?"

Mr. Cupcake had to agree. He was sad to see the Candy Kingdom in such chaos. When Princess Bubblegum had ruled, it was such a friendly and peaceful place to live. No matter how bad things got, however, at least he could face down danger with a well-trimmed mustache.

"It's too bad Finn and Jake aren't here," he remarked. "There's nothing like Finn's auto tuned voice to cheer everyone up with a few songs!"

Professor Pea sniffed and adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses. "We don't know when this Finn fellow will return to help us. Perhaps it is time we helped ourselves. There are others who support Princess Bubblegum after all, correct?"

"True," said Mr. Cupcake.

Professor Pea wiggled his handlebar mustache pensively. He noticed that Mr. Cupcake's mustache had recently been trimmed.

"Excellent mustache, if I do say so."

"Why thank you!"

XX

Finn leaned carefully out from his perch on a tree branch as he stared through the lens of a binoculoceros. Finn and his fellow adventurers were hiding in a massive cotton candy tree which grew near the walls of the Candy Kingdom. The branch on which they were sitting creaked and strained with their collective weight, but they had to use it; from their vantage point on top of the tree, Finn could see over the kingdom's walls.

Finn and his friends wanted to see what was going on in the Candy Kingdom and avoid getting noticed by the three vegetables in charge. The tree provided some cover as they spied on the kingdom, and the fact that it was evening also worked in their favor.

Finn watched the Candy Kingdom's streets through the binoculoceros. Some kind of protest was going on, and Finn could hear the cries and chants of Candy Kingdom citizens rising up from rows of houses beyond the rock candy walls.

"What do you see, Finn?"

"Weird stuff, Jake. There's people protesting down there. They look pretty angry."

Finn released the binoculoceros, which fluttered into the air using tiny white wings connected to its cylindrical body. The binoculoceros wiggled its wings at the group of people perched on the tree branch as a way of bidding them farewell before it flew off into the dusky sky.

Marceline laughed as she swung her legs lazily off the branch. She sat where the branch connected to the tree, her back against the trunk. "You sure did a bad job ruling your kingdom, Bubblegum. Maybe you coulda used a few tips from ol' Marceline."

"I think not," sniffed Princess Bubblegum.

"So what's the plan?" said Jake. "It sounds like it's too dangerous to try to enter the Candy Kingdom through the front gates. There's angry people in the streets, and seeing as those vegetable chumps kicked us out last time, they'd probably catch us the minute we stepped foot inside the walls."

"Yeah, but you've got me," laughed Marceline. "I'll just step on those vegetables. Hahaha!"

Princess Bubblegum crossed her arms and frowned. Clearly, she did not approve of vegetable stomping, even if she was unpopular with many of her vegetable citizens. "All we need to do is remove Sarah Parsnip, Ayn Rand, and Glenn Broccoli from the palace. Once I am back in the Kingdom, I can talk to my sweet citizens and get everything worked out."

Marceline peered across the top of the cotton candy forest – their tree was so large that it towered above the others – and past the Candy Kingdom's walls. She noticed the Princess Bubblegum's castle had a balcony near the top of its tower. Behind the balcony was an open door.

"What about that door in the palace tower over there?" she asked. "I can fly, you know. You guys could ride on my back and we could sail right over the walls onto that balcony, and then we're in the castle. Easy as pie."

"That's the royal bedroom door," said Princess Bubblegum.

Finn pumped his fist. "Sounds like a plan to me!"

"Dude," laughed Jake, "you just wanna see Princess Bubblegum's bedroom."

"Um, no way Jake. Shut up!"

"Enough talk," hissed Marceline. She levitated into the air from the branch and beckoned for her companions to climb on her back. It was obvious there wasn't enough room for three people, however. Jake climbed onto Marceline's back and, using his powers of elasticity, flattened his own back out into a magic carpet-like platform. Princess Bubblegum and Finn climbed onto Jake's flattened body.

"Oh my!" exclaimed Princess Bubblegum as Marceline jumped into the dusky evening sky, sailing out over the cotton candy forest. The adventurers lifted higher into the sky as Marceline soared over the Candy Kingdom's walls, and Finn felt cool evening air ruffling against his white hat.

Marceline was sailing over a relatively quiet area of the town inside the Candy Kingdom's walls. Finn could see small figures weaving through the streets off to his right, some of them waving signs and torches. Hopefully none of them noticed the strange collection of shapes that was sailing through the air towards the Bubblegum Castle.

Before long, Marceline floated town towards the castle tower. She landed lightly on the balcony and let her passengers climb off her back as Jake reverted into to his normal dog form. Before anyone could stop her, Marceline dashed into the open balcony door with an excited hiss. She stopped inside the royal chambers and looked around in amusement.

"Princess, your room is totally lame!" Marceline cackled at the décor in Princess Bubblegum's royal chambers. The entire room was as pink as possible.

Finn followed her inside; he personally thought the royal chambers were pretty mathematical. Princess Bubblegum's bed, elastic and bubbly, looked like it would be fun to jump up and down on. Even though it was a bedroom and not a science lab, beakers and scientific equipment were still piled into corners and on top of the royal dresser.

Finn noticed a round device in one corner of the room with a spiraled pink spout that looked like an oversized pig's tail. The spout let out faint burping sounds as pink bubbles popped out and floated up into the room.

"What's that, Princess?"

"My bubble machine, of course."

Finn was about to leap up and try to pop one of the bubbles by smacking his hands together, when he noticed Marceline was already creeping down the spiral staircase that led from Princess Bubblegum's royal chambers to the lower floors of the castle.

"Marceline! Wait for us!"

As the group began to climb down the stairs, Finn fumbled through his backpack for a weapon. He pulled out his trusty sword, but Princess Bubblegum gave him a severe look. He grinned sheepishly and pulled out the nunchucks instead. "It's vegetable fighting time?" he asked.

"Vegetable nonviolent fighting time," corrected Princess Bubblegum.

"Yeah, tell Marceline that," grumbled Jake as he watched the vampire queen tiptoeing down the stairs in front of him. Claws were extended from her hands, and Marceline glanced back to give Finn and Jake a wink. An ear-to-ear grin revealed her sharp fangs.

After passing several floors, they reached a floor of the castle that seemed to echo with a collection of voices. They stood in an entryway that was hidden from sight by several stone columns, but Finn could see the glowing light of a fire coming from the other side of the columns. The adventurers tiptoed out onto the stone floor and peered around the edge of a big column that was directly in front of them.

"What is this place, Princess Bubblegum?"

"This is the castle banquet hall," she replied in a whisper.

Finn noticed a large wooden table in the center of the room, around which a variety of vegetables sat, absorbed in conversation and revelry. A warm fire was crackling in a stone hearth in the wall adjacent to the table. On the opposite end of the room, across from the table, Finn saw a throne. Sarah Parsnip sat on top of the throne, looking out over the banquet hall's vegetable occupants. Finn wondered where Ayn Radish and Glenn Broccoli were.

"Okay guys," he whispered, "I think if I go to the left and Jake goes to the right, we can sneak-"

He paused in mid-sentence as Marceline leaped out from behind the column and stretched her face into a hideous expression. A forked tongue flicked from her mouth over glistening fangs. She hissed at the vegetables gathered around the wooden table.

"Hello veggies! I'm _so_ hungry tonight!"

Sara Parsnip burst from the throne in shock.

"You!"

The room stared at her in silence.

"Wait, I don't know who you are. Either way, my vegetable retainers, attack them!"

Finn whirled his nunchucks as he stepped into the room beside Marceline. "Jake, back me up dude!"

"You got it, Finn. Whoooloolooloo!"

As the vegetables rose up from around the banquet hall table, Jake leaped into the air at the nearest one and encircled it with his elastic legs. Finn swung his nunchucks at a turnip, striking it square in its turnipy face. Several of the vegetables raised their leafy hands as they began to shoot sparks and jets of colorful flame.

"Watch out guys! They're firing up their vegetable magic!"

Marceline laughed malevolently as her arms and legs began to take on a new form. The other fighters paused in mid-battle and backed away from the horrific scene.

Gray-blue flesh rippled and bulged as Marceline's limbs extended. Her face twisted from something human to something very different. Pupils narrowed into slits, nostrils elongated, fangs extended. Leathery wings sprouted from her back. Her body bulged and sprouted a layer of thick fur as she grew larger, towering over her enemies. With a final spurt of growth in her legs, Marceline's grotesque, bat-like head shot up into the air.

And hit the ceiling.

"Ow!"

Marceline shrank back to her normal size, although her form was still twisted into a horrific cross between a bat and a human. She lay on the ground and cradled a growing bump on her head as Sarah Parsnip's vegetable retainers attacked with fresh energy.

Finn swung his nunchucks as Jake continued to grapple their enemies with his elastic arms, but they were both being driven back, inch by inch. Princess Bubblegum rushed forward and slapped a rutabaga several times, but leaped back in fright when the rutabaga cartwheeled in the air and shot beams of bright vegetable energy from the tips of its roots.

"Marceline, help!"

Finn was relieved. He thought Marceline had been knocked out by the unintended battle between her head and the ceiling, but she got up with a groan. The vampire queen reached out and grabbed a passing carrot. Orange wasn't really a shade of red, but it would have to do. Marceline sank her teeth into the squealing vegetable retainer and sucked the juice away.

The carrot dropped to the ground and rolled away, grayed and withering, as several other vegetables rushed to heal it with their vegetable magic. Marceline grimaced.

"What's wrong, Marceline?"

"Ugh... vegetable... so disgusting..."

Finn would not have guessed it could be possible, but the vampire queen's face was even paler than usual. Marceline held a hand to her mouth, rolled her eyes back into her head, and collapsed again. Finn and Jake backed away, shielding Princess Bubblegum, as Sarah Parsnip appeared from behind the gathering mass of angry vegetables.

"Breakin' into my castle? Now, that just ain't polite!"

Finn and Jake tried to hold off Sarah's vegetable retainers, but with Sarah Parsnip's own powerful vegetable magic added to the assault, they were soon overtaken. Princess Bubblegum tried to run back up the stairs, but she was blocked off by several angry-looking celery sticks.

Two vegetables standing on either side of Finn grabbed his arms, holding him back as Sarah Parsnip walked up to Jake. Finn's canine companion sneezed as Sarah Parsnip blew a strange green powder in to his face. Jake tried to wrap his arms around Sarah Parsnip, but he found that his shape-changing abilities were not working.

"Magic midgetizing powder," said Sarah Parsnip in a perky voice. "Retainers - take these folks to the dungeon!"


	6. Rise of the Parsnip

**Rise of the Parsnip**

XX

Marceline groaned as her eyelids flickered. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked around. She was in a dark room, which was good, because as a vampire she tended to prefer the dark. Unfortunately, that was about the only positive thing about her condition. The lump on Marceline's head was throbbing worse than ever, and she felt sick to her stomach.

"What'd I eat?"

"Carrot," said Princess Bubblegum from her seat against the wall opposite Marceline. "Fortunately he was unhurt. He may have been attacking me, but he was still a Candy Kingdom citizen!"

"Whatever, pinkie," said Marceline. "Where are we?"

The throbbing in Marceline's head increased as Finn ran past her and planted a bicycle kick into the door of the small room in which they were all sitting. The kick did nothing. The door stood firm while Finn fell onto his back.

"The dungeon!" Finn exclaimed as he got up and dusted himself off.

"It's not a dungeon," said Princess Bubblegum indignantly. "This is just one of the palace storage rooms! We store mallows in here sometimes."

Finn scratched his head. "Then how come the storage room has a door that locks from the outside?" He pointed to a tiny window set near the top of the storage room's back wall. "And a window with bars?"

Princess Bubblegum got up and gave Finn a good-natured pat on the head. "We don't want the mallows bouncing off, silly."

She watched as Jake feebly tried to morph his body into a shape that could slip through the the storage room window's bars. The midgetizing power that Sarah Parsnip had blown into Jake's face was still preventing him from shape-shifting. Not only that, but Princess Bubblegum knew it would not work. Even if Jake _could_ slip through the bars, the window itself was guarded by a magical force field.

As Princess Bubblegum looked around the storage cell in which she and her friends were trapped, she noticed two more familiar figures sitting amongst a pile of empty mallow boxes in the corner. Apparently the two figures had been sitting there the entire time, listening to their fellow captors in silence.

"Wait a minute! Ayn Radish? Glenn Broccoli? What are you two doing here?"

The two vegetables looked up at the princess.

"Sarah Parsnip took over the reins of government," said Ayn Radish. "We never saw it coming. She said that I was just a stuffy intellectual, too concerned with theory. She said I was out of touch with the realities of running a kingdom."

"And she told me that I was a demagogue," added Glenn Broccoli. "Not a true believer, not committed to the cause! Just interested in appealing to people's knee-jerk emotions."

Ayn Rand shook her head. "Sarah Parsnip said that she was the only true believer. She wants to institute a policy of vegetableism in the Candy Kingdom. She said it was much better than your sugarist policies, Princess Bubblegum."

"Ugh," said Finn. "So many isms!"

Jake sat down against a mallow crate and grunted. "So what are we gonna do now?"

Princess Bubblegum's eyes widened as she cupped her hands to her face.

"I'm afraid we are at the mercy of Sarah Parsnip!"

XX

Mr. Cupcake, ChocoBerry, and Professor Pea joined the crowd that had gathered around the town square below the balcony on the Bubblegum Castle's tower. Sara Parsnip stood on the balcony and leaned out, surveying the Candy Kingdom citizens who gathered below her. Earlier, she had announced that there would be an official proclamation later in the day. The streets had calmed down as the protesters gathered to see what Sara Parsnip and her two vegetable co-rulers had to say.

"Attention, y'all!" yelled Sarah Parsnip. "There's been a change in leadership. Ayn Rand and Glenn Broccoli were subversive elements in the administration of the Candy Kingdom, so now I'm gonna be the sole ruler! There's no need for the Pea Party anymore either – they helped raise me to power, but now that I'm here, I can take care of all that silly political stuff!"

A murmur rose up from the crowd.

"Not only that, but Princess Bubblegum and a few of her cronies paid a visit to the Bubblegum Castle earlier, tryin' to cause trouble and institute her evil sugarist ideology over the kingdom. But don't worry, me and my vegetable bodyguard caught them, so we're all safe now!"

The crowd's murmurs rose up into a few cries of shock. Mr. Cupcake noticed Chet, the chocolate covered peanut, raise his hands to his cheeks in shock.

"Things are happening that I don't understand... and it makes me scared!"

Chet was about to spontaneously combust, as all Candy Kingdom citizens do when they are frightened, until a few of his fellow candy friends calmed him down.

Sara Parsnip waited until the uproar died down a little before she continued her speech. "Now that I'm in sole command, we're gonna have a few changes around here. From this moment on, I'll be implementizin' a policy of vegetableism all over the kingdom!"

"What's that?" one of the candy citizens cried out from the crowd.

"Vegetableism?" asked Sarah Parsnip. "It's simple, really! You just gotta eat nothing but vegetables from now on. Also, always do what I say, or else I'll throw you in the dungeon. This makes the Candy Kingdom safer for all of us!"

The murmuring from the crowd grew louder. Several Candy Kingdom citizens seemed to raise their voices in protest, while some of the citizens who had previously been protesting in the streets shouted their approval of Sarah Parsnip's ideology. Mr. Cupcake felt a ripple of anger coursing through the crowd as a few citizens ahead of him began to wrestle with each other.

"I think it's time to go back to your house," Mr. Cupcake said to ChocoBerry. "We need organize the citizens who are in favor of Princess Bubblegum's return as leader of the Candy Kingdom!"

XX

Finn and Jake sat across from other on mallow boxes inside the locked storage room. Outside the small, barred window high up in the wall of the room, evening was approaching. The room grew darker as the lattice of light coming through the bars began to fade away. To pass the time, Finn and Jake were playing games with each other.

"One, two, three, four, I declare thumb war!"

Jake laughed as Finn managed to pin him yet again. "No fair dude, you have opposable thumbs!"

"That's what happens when you're Finn the human. Deal with it, Jake!"

Marceline groaned at the merrymaking that was going on around her. Even Princess Bubblegum had forgotten about their predicament and was clapping her hands together excitedly as she watched Finn and Jake competing against each other. Marceline got up from the floor and floated up to the barred window, staring outside. The streets of the Candy Kingdom seemed to be nearly empty, even though earlier she had heard some kind of gathering outside, along with the sound of Sarah Parsnip's voice shouting from somewhere above them.

"Somebody get me outta here!" she shouted into the empty street on the other side of the window. No one replied.

"Rrgh," said Marceline as she floated back to the storage room floor, "how long have we been in here? Weeks? Months?"

"Maybe like a day or so," said Finn.

Princess Bubblegum gave Marceline a cheerful smile. "Cheer up, Marceline! I'm sure Finn and Jake will figure something out eventually. They just need to psyche themselves up with a thumb war or two."

"That's right Princess."

As the two adventurers continued to engage in a fierce battle of digits, a faint sound began to rise up from the street outside and above the storage room. Marceline frowned and looked out the window again. After a moment, she saw a large but quiet crowd of candy citizens sneak through the streets and approach her window.

"Hey, you guys, come over here!" she yelled to the group in the street.

"Sssh!"

One of the candy citizens, a large cupcake with an impeccably-styled mustache, held a finger to his mouth. He signaled for the rest of the candy people behind him to follow along as they sneaked closer to the Bubblegum Castle. Finally, they reached the window. The cupcake knelt down and looked inside.

"Finn, Jake, is that you? And Princess Bubblegum, you're alright!"

"Mr. Cupcake! How nice to see you," said Princess Bubblegum. The room's occupants gathered around the window.

"Stand back," said Professor Pea, who was standing beside Mr. Cupcake. "we're going to break you out."

"How?" asked Princess Bubblegum.

"With science!"

Princess Bubblegum and the storage room's other captives backed away towards the locked door, as far from the window as they could get. Outside on the street, Professor Pea stood back and threw a beaker of fluid at the barred window. The beaker shattered against the bars, sending a ripple of magical energy across the window. The bars gradually melted away, and Princess Bubblegum felt her heart flutter just a bit.

"That was excellent science!" she exclaimed.

"Come on everybody, get out of there."

Finn and Jake were first out of the open window. They helped pull Princess Bubblegum up from the storage room, and Marceline floated out on her own. She gave the candy citizen rescue party a loud hiss just for fun. Ayn Radish and Glenn Broccoli were the last out of the cell.

"Whoa," said Jake as he wiggled his arms and legs. "I think that midgetizing powder is wearing off."

"Trapezoidal!" said Finn. He bumped fists triumphantly with his friend.

"Thank you for rescuing us," said Princess Bubblegum. She gave Mr. Cupcake a kiss on his frosty cheek that made him blush. "You're tasty, Mr. Cupcake."

"Why thank you," he replied. "We want you to be queen of our kingdom, Princess Bubblegum. Even many of the people who originally opposed you have changed their minds, now that they've seen the anger in the streets and gotten a taste of what Sarah Parsnip's reign would be like. She was going to institute a vegetableist ideology across the kingdom!"

"That's horrible!" shouted Finn. "Wait, what's that?"

"It means everyone would have to eat vegetables, for one thing," said Princess Bubblegum.

Finn stuck his tongue out. "Eww, gross. What do you guys eat normally, anyway?"

"Mostly candy, of course."

Jake frowned. "Isn't that sorta like, cannibalism or something?"

"Well, we don't eat _sentient_ candy, silly!"

Finn and Jake both scratched their heads. The Candy Kingdom, not to mention the Land of Ooo, could be a very strange place sometimes.

"Why do some of those vegetables hate you so much, anyways?" asked Finn.

Princess Bubblegum pondered the question. "We can never know why some people hate, Finn. However, one reason is that I'm part-human, part-bubblegum. Some of the Pea Partiers are bubblegum bigots."

"Well, we are just so happy zat you are back!" cried ChocoBerry. The chocolate-capped strawberry gave Princess Bubblegum, Finn, and Jake a warm hug each. She was glad to see her friends safe and sound. "Eet eez time to return to le house, _n'est-ce pas_?"

"Good idea, ChocoBerry."

Mr. Cupcake began to walk across the town square beside Princess Bubblegum's castle, on his way back to the winding alleys and streets that led into the town. He waved a brawny arm, beckoning the rest of the group to follow him. "Come with me everyone!"

"Not so fast!"

The group froze. Finn narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of the source of the voice. Farther along the castle wall, the bulky wood front doors were hanging open. Sarah Parsnip stood at the other end of the town square, surrounded by a group of her vegetable retainers.

"Tryin' to sneak out, are we?"

Finn reached into his backpack for his nunchucks, but realized that both his backpack and his nunchucks had been confiscated when he and his friends were thrown into the storage room. He growled and raised his fists at his opponents.

"I'm gonna clobber you vegetables!"

Marceline levitated high into the air and flung her head back in laughter. Her long black hair blew in the evening breeze. "You're in trouble now, _vegetable_! I won't be hitting my head on the ceiling when I'm outside. Because there is no ceiling! Just the sky, which is more of a metaphorical-"

"We get it, Marceline," said Princess Bubblegum.

"Okay, fine."

Marceline's body began to bulge and twist into its hideous, monstrous form. Her legs shot down to the ground, knotted with muscle. Her arms grew outwards, ending in gigantic clawed hands. Marceline's bat form towered above the town square, and her cackle echoed through the Candy Kingdom.

"Two can play at that game, sweetie!"

Sarah Parsnip summoned a leather bag out of thin air and upended it over her head. A fine white powder sprinkled down over her body. To everyone's surprise, her body ballooned outwards with a strange _poof!_ as she grew to equal Marceline in size.

"Giganticizing powder," she explained.

"Rrraggghh!"

Marceline leaped forward across the town square, her strides making the ground quake as vegetable and candy citizens alike ran for cover. Marceline's features distorted as she screeched and grappled with the giant parsnip. The two giants crashed against each other like forces of nature, causing the windows to rattle in the houses surrounding the town square. As the battle raged on, more Candy Kingdom citizens wandered out from the alleyways towards the town square to see what was going on.

"Go back to your houses!" shouted Princess Bubblegum. "Nothing to be afraid of! Please ignore the giant bat creature, and don't let it scare you. It's fighting on our side!"

Marceline gave Sarah Parsnip a particularly vicious swipe of her claws, and the giant vegetable stumbled backwards, slamming into the side of the Bubblegum Castle's tower. The tower groaned as it shifted to one side and finally crumbled down to the earth. Finn, Jake, and the various candy citizens in the town square had to run for cover to avoid stone and debris.

"Aw man," said Princess Bubblegum. "Just when I had that thing rebuilt after Cinnamon broke it with his silly back flip."

As Sarah Parsnip's massive figure struggled in the wreckage of the castle tower, Ayn Radish and Glenn Broccoli rushed forward from the crowd. The two vegetables crossed the town square and leaped onto Sarah Parsnip's body; fortunately, her huge vegetable form was equipped with tiny legs, and now that she had collapsed on the Bubblegum Castle, she seemed to be having trouble getting up.

Ayn Radish and Glenn Broccoli reached Sarah Parsnip's face, and much as Sarah had done earlier, Ayn muttered a magic incantation with her hands raised in the air. A small leather bag materialized out of the ether and fall into Ayn Radish's hands. She turned the bag over and opened it over Sarah Parsnip's face; fine green powder spilled out over the giant parsnip. Sarah sneezed as her body began to shrink down to a smaller size.

"Ooh," said Jake, "they're using that midgetizing powder, like they did on me!"

Finn nodded. "Vegetable magic is a strange and wonderful thing, Jake."

The crowd of candy citizens who had gathered in the town square rushed towards Sarah Parsnip as she was dragged from the castle wreckage by Ayn Radish and Glenn Broccoli. Now a normal size, she struggled wildly against her captors, but could not break free.

"Why did you help us?" Princess Bubblegum asked the two vegetables.

"Princess Bubblegum, forgive us. We were so wrapped up in thinking that we could run the Candy Kingdom better than you could, we didn't realize that we were helping someone as truly dangerous as Sarah Parsnip gain power!" Glenn Broccoli and Ayn Rand hung their heads in shame as they faced Princess Bubblegum.

"All is forgiven!" said the Princess.

Finn was a little disappointed. He knew Princess Bubblegum was a forgiving ruler, but still, Finn would have liked to at least give the vegetables a few punches for good measure. But then, Finn wasn't princess of the Candy Kingdom.

"Me, dangerous?" asked Sarah Parsnip. "Well I'll be darned," she laughed.

"Don't try to use your faux-rural, every-woman charms on us," said Princess Bubblegum. "We know what you're really like."

Princess Bubblegum held a hand to her chin, deep in thought, until she turned to Professor Pea. She had been impressed by Professor Pea's grasp of science, and she thought he might be able to give her advice. "How should we deal with Sarah Parsnip?" she asked the rotund green figure.

"Hmm," mused Professor Pea. His mustache twitched as he considered the options. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Princess Bubblegum, but once you are restored to the throne, the Gumball Guardians should return to guard the Candy Kingdom, no?"

"Yep!" she replied. "They were being held back by the powerful vegetable magic that Sarah Parsnip and her cronies were using."

"Well then," continued Professor Pea, "if we kick Sarah Parsnip out of the kingdom and restore you to power, she should be kept out if the Gumball Guardians keep watch, correct?"

"I think so."

"In that case, good strong kick should do the trick."

Marceline, still in her towering bat form, picked up Sarah Parsnip from the grasp of her two former co-leaders as the parsnip struggled. Marceline laughed at the tiny figure in her hand.

"I'll take her guys. Ha ha ha! How about some fresh air, vegetable?"

Marceline let Sarah Parsnip fall from her raised hand and drop kicked the vegetable in mid-air, sending Sarah flying high into the sky and over the kingdom's walls.

"This isn't the last you'll hear from meeeeeeee..."

The Candy Kingdom's citizens stood around the town square and gaped as Sarah Parsnip's figure grew smaller on the horizon. She sailed away into the distance as her voice trailed off.

"Oh, I do hope she'll be okay," said Princess Bubblegum.

Marceline shrugged. "I dunno. I think there's some water over in that direction. It's all good."

As the Candy Kingdom's citizens began to realize that Sarah Parsnip was gone and they would not be subjected to a diet consisting only of vegetables, a cheer begin to rise among the crowd. The citizens chanted Princess Bubblegum's name and raised her up on their shoulders, parading her around in circles in the town square. Princess Bubblegum laughed as she enjoyed the ride, while Finn and Jake pounded fists. It was a job well done.

"Don't think you should be celebrating just yet," said Marceline.

The cheering died down as the crowd placed Princess Bubblegum back on her feet. "What do you mean?" asked the princess.

"Oh, nothing much," said Marceline as she floated over to the Bubblegum Castle's sturdy wooden front doors. One of the doors creaked as it slowly turned to face the crowd. Carved across the front of the door was a large black 'M'. The candy citizens gasped in unison as they caught sight of it.

"Just that this kingdom belongs to _me_! Ahahahahaa!"


	7. Back to Normalish

**Back to Normalish**

XX

An eerie cackle slashed through the night sky as Marceline floated above the candy crowd gathered in the town square. Princess Bubblegum slapped a hand to her forehead. They had only just gotten rid of Sarah Parsnip, and now, yet another usurper was trying to take over the Candy Kingdom. In retrospect, maybe getting a vampire queen to help her take back the throne was a bad idea.

"Marceline!" shouted Finn. "How could you do this!"

"Are you serious? I stole your house _and_ your cave, Finn. What were you expecting?"

Jake patted Finn sympathetically on the back. "She's got a point, bro."

Marceline nodded in appreciation of Jake's support. "Now, everybody get ready to have their blood sucked! Or whatever it is you candy people have instead of blood!"

The townspeople backed away, paralyzed with terror as Marceline stomped across the town square towards them. She was still in her bat form, towering above her prey and matching what was left of the ruined Bubblegum Castle tower in size. Marceline picked up a hapless brown mustachioed candy and lifted him towards her mouth.

"Nooo!" yelled Princess Bubblegum. "Not Starchy the Grave Digger!"

Starchy wiggled in Marceline's giant claws. "Oh no! Don't squeeze me, you'll make me toot!"

Marceline threw Starchy away in disgust. Unfortunately, Starchy was so terrified that he exploded and disappeared in midair. Princess Bubblegum gasped as more of her sweet candy citizens began to run in terror, combusting left and right out of fear.

"No! Don't be afraid, everybody! There's nothing to be afraid of! I mean, besides the giant vampire bat monster, but look for the silver lining!"

Ayn Rand and Glenn Broccoli approached Marceline as close as they could and fired colorful showers of vegetable magic at her, but Marceline was too large for the magic to have any effect. Jake leaped at Marceline and tried to tie her hands together with his elasticized body as Finn leaped forward and pummeled her, but Marceline seemed to be getting angrier the more they attacked her. She hissed, flinging Finn and Jake across the square with a twist of her sinewy arms.

Many of the candy and vegetable citizens who had been gathered in the town square had either run for cover or exploded from fright, leaving Finn, Jake, and a few of the more fearless citizens to fight Marceline. As Princess Bubblegum watched the battle, she felt a vibrating energy course through the air. Time seemed to slow down for just a moment as everything around Princess Bubblegum turned a shade of blue. Then, with a loud popping sound, time and color returned to normal. Princess Bubblegum knew what had just happened. She stared up at the two massive figures that had just materialized out of thin air.

The Gumball Guardians had returned.

One of the Guardians leaned down towards the town square to get a closer look at Princess Bubblegum, while Marceline and her attackers stopped to gape at the scene. The giant gumball machine spoke.

"The vegetable usurpers have left, Princess Bubblegum? You have been restored to the throne?"

"That's right!" shouted the pink princess. "Now, if you please, Guardians of the Royal Promise, could you remove that vampire bat from the kingdom?"

The Gumball Guardians nodded ponderously as they turned to stare at the furry black creature standing beside them. Marceline stared back at her two new opponents, a little hesitant to attack. They were definitely a bit larger than Finn and Jake.

"Marceline the Vampire Queen, this is not your kingdom! Prepare for a trial by fire!"

The Gumball Guardians each belched a jet of flame from their mouths, but Marceline stood back and swept one of her long, pallid arms in the air. The white-hot jets seemed to flatten and pause in midair before they could reach Marceline, and with another flick of her clawed hand, the flames disappeared entirely.

"Fools! I can control fire! Now, let's see what red gumballs taste like."

One Gumball Guardian turned to the other with a frown. "The trial by fire failed," he said.  
"Hmm," said the other. "Trial by math?"

"No, that makes no sense in this context."

The second Gumball Guardian thought for a moment. "Trial by shooting gumballs?"

"_Yes!_"

Marceline charged the Gumball Guardians, enraged at the way they were conversing with each other and ignoring her threats, when the Guardians swiftly turned on her and began to shoot gumballs from their mouths. Marceline was pelted by the giant hard candy balls repeatedly, hissing as she shrank back. She tried to shield herself from the candy projectiles, but when the candy hit her bony arms, it hurt even worse.

"Argh! Not fair!"

Finn and Jake jumped up and down in excitement. "It's working! Keep going, Guardians!"

Marceline roared in anger as the Gumball Guardians advanced on her, driving her back towards the Candy Kingdom's walls with a constant stream of gumball bullets. Marceline finally flapped her leathery wings and lifted up into the air.

"Okay, fine!" she yelled. "I was just playing around, anyway. Why would I want this stupid kingdom? I can't even bite most of you people, you just explode when you get scared. What a waste of time!"

Marceline flew over the Candy Kingdom's rock candy walls, shrinking down into her human form again as she sailed away. After she had finished morphing, she glanced back at the town square with a flourish of her inky hair.

"Be seeing you, Finn!"

Marceline winked and blew Finn a kiss as she flew over the Cotton Candy forest and faded into the night.

XX

**A Few Days Later**

Princess Bubblegum woke up with a yawn. She stretched her bubblegum arms out as she sat up in bed, feeling a little hot from the bright sunlight that was streaming in through the bedroom window and pouring over her bed. ChocoBerry had been kind enough to give her a temporary place to stay while the Bubblegum Castle tower was being rebuilt. It was no royal bedchamber, but it was certainly better than the knobby tree branch and blanket combination that served as a bed in Finn and Jake's tree house.

Princess Bubblegum primped herself up a little bit, replaced her chemise with a flouncy royal dress, and bounced down ChocoBerry's stairway into her kitchen. The princess was excited. Finn and Jake had already left the Candy Kingdom couple of days ago to return to their tree house, and Princess Bubblegum missed them a little, but she would see them again soon. Today was a new day. A day for changes.

"Why hello, ChocoBerry!"

"Ooh, Preencess Bubblegum, _bonjour_! Try some of my fresh crepes, if you please."

"Not this morning, ChocoBerry," said Princess Bubblegum as she rushed towards the door and beckoned for the strawberry to follow her. "Come with me, I have some very important announcements to make!"

ChocoBerry clapped her hands together in excitement and followed Princess Bubblegum out of the house as they made their way down a winding street towards the town square. Candy Kingdom citizens paused in their early morning chores as Princess Bubblegum passed them in the street, beckoning for them to join her in the town square. Other citizens peered out of their windows at the commotion.

Princess Bubblegum smiled at the sight of a chocolate malt ball ambling towards her.

"Nice to see you again," she greeted Starchy the Grave Digger. "I see the Guardians of the Royal Promise have re-existentialized everyone who exploded in fright during the battle with Marceline?"

"You betcha," said Starchy. "Second time I exploded from being scared!"

Starchy rubbed his mustache, deep in thought. "You know, if we can come back to life after popping out of existence, you have to wonder, why do we ever get scared in the first place?"

Princess Bubblegum laughed. "I'm no philosopher, Starchy. I'm a scientist. Also an irradiated hybrid of human and bubblegum DNA, but that's neither here nor there. Now come with me, Starchy, I have some important things to say in the town square."

Starchy the Grave Digger shrugged cheerily as he followed Princess Bubblegum in the opposite direction he had been walking. Standing around in the town square was probably more fun than digging graves, so Starchy wasn't going to complain.

"You there," said Princess Bubblegum as she pointed to a cone-like candy person who was passing her in the street. "Mr. Cream Cone! Please come with me, I'll need your help."

"Certainly, princess."

Princess Bubblegum arrived at the town square with her entourage. Part of the square was covered in building materials as a group of candy construction workers worked on rebuilding the Bubblegum Castle and its ruined main tower. Princess Bubblegum was pleased; the palace already looked like it was well on its way to being finished.

Mr. Cream Cone whooped in surprise as Princess Bubblegum picked him up and turned him sideways. "Attention, Candy Kingdom citizens!" she shouted, using Cream Cone as a makeshift megaphone. "Please meet me in the town square for some very important announcements!"

"Ooh, that tickles!" laughed Mr. Cream Cone as Princess Bubblegum's voice traveled through him.

Princess Bubblegum carefully placed Mr. Cream Cone back onto the ground as she waited for her subjects to arrive. Little by little, various candy citizens – and vegetable citizens – poured into the town square to listen to her proclamations. As the trickle of people died down and the crowd's murmurs grew quiet, Princess Bubblegum prepared to make her announcement.

"My sweet citizens," she said, "I am declining to take the royal role of Queen of the Candy Kingdom."

The crowd around her gasped in surprise and began to chatter loudly amongst themselves.

"Please, let me explain," said Princess Bubblegum as she calmed the crowd down. "I've had a few days to think about the mess the Candy Kingdom has been in recently, and I've realized something: the Candy Kingdom's royal system makes no sense!

"Looking at stars and planets to determine when to appoint a Queen is just silly. I'd rather just be a princess, and work more closely with my sweet citizens in deciding how to run the Candy Kingdom. The government should answer to the people, not the other way around, after all. Therefore, I shall decline the position of Queen. If that's okay with the Guardians of the Royal Promise."

One of the Gumball Guardians, who had been lounging around outside of the Candy Kingdom's walls as he blew bubbles and guarded the kingdom, heard Princess Bubblegum's question and turned around to stare into the town square.

"Yeah, whatever."

Princess Bubblegum adjusted her diadem and smiled, pleased that her idea had been received so well.

"Excellent! Now, we've all seen how dangerous the The Pea Party was. They operated on ignorance, placed a partisan parsnip into power, and undermined the Candy Kingdom's safety! With the power vacuum created by their defeat, the Kingdom was almost overrun by an even more dangerous enemy, Marceline the Vampire Queen."

"Didn't you invite her here?" shouted one of the citizens from the crowd.

Princess Bubblegum coughed. "Er, yes. I must take the blame for that decision. Sorry about that, I was such a patoot! But the point is, even if citizens don't know what they're angry at, there is always something that caused their anger. I've realized that I have overlooked some of my sweet citizens, particularly the vegetable variety.

"From now on, I'll try harder to help all of my citizens and include them in the political process, even if they live in a Broccoli Forest that's really far away and kind of gross. And eating candy is great, but I think we can all compromise and eat a few vegetables from time to time, don't you think?"

"Uuugh!" shouted the crowd. Despite their disgust, however, most of them appeared to be shrugging and nodding amongst themselves in agreement.

"I will also try to increase education in the Candy Kingdom, so that people are less likely to believe the misinformation that a paper like _Squash News_ spreads. And, finally, government will be more transparent."

Princess Bubblegum motioned to the Bubblegum Castle being rebuilt behind her.

"Literally! They're building it out of clear rock candy and gelatin. You'll be able to see right through it!"

The crowd oohed and aahed at the castle's construction, and a chorus of claps gradually rose up around Princess Bubblegum. She smiled and bowed to her subjects. Of course, mused Princess Bubblegum, considering the way she wanted to run the Candy Kingdom from now on, they wouldn't really be her subjects anymore. She walked through the crowd and shook hands with her sweet citizens until she reached the edge of the town square.

"Now," she said, "if you don't mind, I've got to pay a visit to some dear friends."

XX

The hills surrounding the tree house rang with the sound of laughter and music. Finn and Jake were hosting a party to celebrate the restoration of the Candy Kingdom, and all of their friends in the Land of Ooo had been invited. Unfortunately, Princess Bubblegum and many of the Candy Kingdom's citizens were actually too busy rebuilding to attend the party in their honor, but Finn and Jake figured it was still a good excuse to have a party.

Since it was such a pleasant, sunny day in the Land of Ooo, a group of tables and chairs were set up outside the tree house where the partygoers could talk, dance, and eat to their heart's content. A rickety wooden stage had been put together beyond the tables. Due to popular demand, Finn was on the stage performing an encore of the science dance.

"Science dance, science dance!" yelled Jake as his friend swung his arms and legs in angular motions. "Yeah, that's the ticket!"

The other partygoers were just as enthusiastic as Jake. They stamped their feet and clapped in excitement at the sight of Finn's wild science dance. Manly the Minotaur and the Keyper were amongst the people attending the tree house party; the Keyper stood on Manly's shoulders as he cheered Finn on.

"Yah, that's right Finn," shouted Lumpy Space Princess. "Like, omigod, I can't believe he's dancing like that. Shake that booty, Finn. This party is like, totally off the hook!"

Finn laughed as he continued to wow his guests with the expressive power of science. "Too bad Princess Bubblegum isn't here," he said.

"Yeah," agreed Jake. "Guess she had things to do."

Jake looked up at his girlfriend, Lady Rainicorn, who was sailing around in circles above the tree house, enjoying the cool afternoon breeze. "Hey Lady Rainicorn, how do you like Finn's science dance?"

"Gwiyeowoyo."

Finn finished his science dance and left the stage just in time to see Tree Trunks open the tree house door and step outside with a tray of fresh-baked cookies balanced on her back. She trundled out between the tables as the party-goers sniffed at the smell of warm cookies wafting through the air.

"Well now," said Tree Trunks, "I just finished up my bakin'. Everybody get themselves a nice cookie!"

Finn and Jake both grabbed cookies from the elderly elephant's green back.

"Thanks Tree Trunks!" said Finn. "I sure am glad you got yourself out of that crystal dimension."

"Why thank you Finn," laughed Tree Trunks. "It wasn't hard, just a matter of exercisin' my womanly charms on a few of them crystals."

Finn and Jake laughed as the sat down at a picnic table with their friends. They took a bite of their cookies – as usual, Tree Trunk's baking was delicious. Finn was about to force Jake to do the philosophy dance when he caught sight of group of familiar figures coming over the crest of a nearby hill.

The group traveled on top of bouncing mallows as they bounced down the hill towards the tree house. Finn waved at them. ChocoBerry, Mr. Cupcake, and Professor Pea were amongst the approaching figures, and at the front of the procession, Princess Bubblegum waved back to Finn. The group stepped off of their bouncing mallows as they arrived at the tree house party.

"Hello, Finn the Human," said Princess Bubblegum. "Hello, Jake. It was a nice day, so I thought some of us in the Candy Kingdom could take a break from rebuilding the castle and come to your party." She noticed the cookie tray on Tree Trunk's back. "I hope one of those is for me," she giggled.

"Why certainly, young lady."

"So," said Jake, "what's it feel like to be Queen of the Candy Kingdom?"

"Oh, I'm noth queenth," said Princess Bubblegum through a mouthful of cookie. "I stepht down!"

Finn and Jake raised their eyebrows in surprise as Princess Bubblegum's announcement pelted them with cookie crumbs. Corn Princess, who had been floating around the tables set up at the party and chatting with people, overheard Princess Bubblegum's announcement and began to shake wildly, popping her kernels in surprise.

"Still not queen?" Corn Princess popped. "Oh lawdy, that's just horrible!"

The other partygoers rushed to gather Corn Princess's freshly-popped popcorn as Princess Bubblegum tried to calm her down. "It's no big deal," she said. "I chose to step down – I didn't want to be queen."

"Really?" said Finn. "Why not?"

Princess Bubblegum swallowed the rest of her cookie. "I decided I'd rather just be a princess!"

Lady Raincorn flew down from above the tree house and stood beside Jake as she gave Princess Bubblegum a smile and a nod. "Orenmanida!"

"Nice to see you, Lady Rainicorn. How was your visit back to your family on the Island of Coria? I hope the radiation wasn't too bad."

"Aniyo," said Lady Raincorn. "Coria daedanhan naraimnida."

Princess Bubblegum gave Lady Rainicorn a hug and then began to mingle with the rest of the partygoers. As Finn started eating another cookie, Jake nudged his arm and pointed to a nearby hill.

"Check it out, dude!"

Finn looked at the hill Jake was pointing towards. "Slamacow!" he shouted.

On top of the hill, a cat dressed in a lab coat and glasses and a shark with a sword materialized out of the air. Finn smiled. Saving the Candy Kingdom and helping Princess Bubblegum had been a lot of fun, but it was nice to be back at their tree house, where they could play video games and fight Shark and Science Cat every afternoon at four o'clock sharp.

"Hey Princess Bubblegum! We're gonna go fight Shark and Science Cat. I just have to go get my sword from inside. They show up every day at four, and then we cut their heads off, and they reappear the next day. It's totally trigonomical! Want to watch us?"

Princess Bubblegum noticed the two figures on the hill that were approaching Finn and Jake. The science cat was wearing a lab coat, and he appeared to be mixing a couple of potions together.

"Only if I can try to talk to Science Cat, Finn. I want to see if he has any science secrets!"

"If you say so, princess."

Finn rushed inside his house and came back out with his sword. Princess Bubblegum waved goodbye to the partygoers as she followed the boy and his dog across the hill towards Shark and Science Cat. She felt absolutely wonderful. Changing the Candy Kingdom's government had been a good decision.

Princess Bubblegum knew that her decision to step down from the role of Candy Kingdom Queen had been the right one. Being queen wouldn't leave her a lot of time to do whatever else she wanted to do. Mallow Tea Ceremonies, for instance. Conducting science experiments in the Bubblegum Palace. Perhaps going on more adventures with Finn and Jake in the future. Or, just hanging out with her two friends more often. After all, what could be more important than that?

The next time Finn and Jake had a sleepover, however, Princess Bubblegum would have insist her friends get a better bed for their guest room.

XX

* * *

_Some translations for what Lady Rainicorn said (at least according to the Korean phrase sites I visited!):_

Gwiyeowoyo = "it is cute"

Orenmanida = "long time no see"

Aniyo, Coria daedanhan naraimnida = "No, Coria is a beautiful country"

_I have heard that Pendleton Ward said Adventure Time actually takes place in a post-apocalyptic landscape, but none of the characters are aware of it. I kind of liked to imagine that even though Lady Rainicorn is supposedly Princess Bubblegum's pet, she comes from what used to be Korea, and "Coria" is an echo of that. The radiation was a little hint at what might have happened before the Land of Ooo became what it was, hehe._

_The story is now complete, so let me know what you thought! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and read along, I'm glad people seemed to enjoy this story. Normally I write stores for the show Kim Possible, and this was my first attempt at a different show. I like Adventure Time's surreal, bizarre, and light-hearted tone, and I like how there is a lot of leeway to throw some ridiculous things into the story, so I thought it would be fun to write._

_I don't know if I will ever write another Adventure Time story. However, if you like Kim Possible, you should check out my other stuff._


End file.
